Passing Judgement and the Business of Being Judged

coffee-and-a-cameraWhen I started Wishes & Reality in 2014 it was as a creative outlet where I could express my love of fashion. But as I further defined my goals, what started out as a hobby, quickly became a business. Today, after working my tail off for 2 1/2 years, I have had some successes. You see, the business of blogging really means to be a professional influencer using digital channels to influence purchasing decisions. We are modern-day advertisers. But instead of helping to peddle the latest whachamaloo, I am placing my support behind brands that I truly believe in. Those that align with my own brand AKA Wishes & Reality.

cozy-fall-outfit-lace-up-sweater-distressed-jeanssimilar lace up sweater || similar jeans

How does one influence?

Over the past 2 1/2 years I have also achieved a modest level of influence. We are not selling out products but we are driving site traffic and making an increasing number of affiliate sales. We’re also excited to be expanding our reach, and sharing more of myself personally, in new partnerships creating recipes, styling accessories and featuring health and beauty products. 


on-the-bed-shot-the-best-leather-moto-jacket-diy-raw-hem-jeansOld Navy jeans, DIY hem, tutorial post coming soon || similar jacket

I fully realize that I am not only the face of my brand, I am my brand. And with that, I open myself up to criticism. I realize that my style isn’t for everyone and that I will never please all, but I recently had an experience that truly opened my eyes to what people will say about those of us who are influencing via digital and social media today.

forever-21-ring-crossbody-daniel-wellington-watch-white-hydrangaspurse || watch

This week, I was excited to discover that an Instagram post of mine had been “regrammed”, or reposted, by an account boasting 2 million+ followers. I mentioned that I have achieved a modest level of influence; this account boasts a huge amount of influence and followers who are looking to make purchases based on what has been posted. Needless to say, I was thrilled. Not only could this drive traffic to my site, but the traffic would be the exact demographic that I seek to attract.

the-business-of-being-judged-star-sneakers-golden-goose-dupes-sheinstar sneakers || skirt

Passing Judgement

However, my excitement quickly turned to disappointment and hurt. The comments following the post were less than kind and supportive, and some were downright cruel. It went beyond poking fun at my outfit. As I said, I don’t seek to please all and I certainly have made plenty of poor choices when it comes to fashion. {Just take a look back at the early days of this blog. Just kidding, please don’t.} But to personally attack someone because you don’t like what they’re wearing is wrong and only demonstrates lack of character.

Fortunately, I have a supportive community of friends to remind me that I had nothing to feel badly about. That I did not deserve to be judged based only on my clothing choice. But it truly was an eye-opening experience to witness people react so viscerally to an outfit post. I mean, there are wars and famine and an awfully scary election year and you’re hiding behind your computer hurling insults?! How sad.

stack-of-cozy-sweaters-on-bedsimilar lace up sweater || black and white sweater

And how scary. As a mom who is raising children in a digital age this not what I want my very expressive children to face one day. Fortunately, I have enough years behind me to be able to put the experience into perspective. Without it, I would have been very tempted to throw in the towel. 

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Do bloggers deserve to be judged?

We are all entitled to our opinion, which is what makes personal style so incredible. Its a means to express visually our own style, our favorite things, our personality. Clothing is trivial and unimportant to some, and that’s ok too. We are all entitled to our opinion, its how we share it that matters.

So if your still reading, 1. Wow; and 2. Thank you. Hopefully this post helped explain what it means to be a digital content creator. I also hope it makes you think next time you wish to make a comment on someone’s appearance, online or otherwise. Personal style is just that, personal. So own yours and be proud of it, no matter what some creep on the internet has to say.

happy-hour-in-new-york-shein-sequin-eye-satchel-beer-authority-ny-nyfw

cozy-fall-outfit-hm-oversized-cable-knit-sweater-distressed-jeanssweater || distressed jeans

Have you had this experience online? I’d love to hear your story.