This has been a rough 6 months for this chickadee. Bi-weekly bouts of strep throat that exacerbated her asthma. Many rounds of antibiotics that left her queasy and listless. Countless trips to and from the pediatricians office only to return a week later. As we approached our third season of this unbearable routine, we made the decision, with the advice of her ENT, to remove both her tonsils and adenoids.
I felt good about it. It would be a painful recovery but then she would be better. I also had a little bit of a different perspective. After watching my dearest friend’s son fight an incredibly brave battle with an incredibly aggressive cancer for nearly 2 years now and watching what he and his family have been through, I sort of thought what we were going through was a cake walk.
Boy was I wrong. On Wednesday I watched my little girl disappear down a corridor in a hospital gown and its an image I’ll never forget. She was so brave. I tried to prepare her that it would hurt afterward and she would have to rest and take it easy, but all she heard was ice cream. It was a quick 45 minutes that we were apart and even during those 45 minutes, I still felt like she would be ok.
But afterwards when they called us back and she had just been woken up {why they don’t let the parents be there for that part I’ll never understand}, I nearly crumbled. Seeing your child so scared and confused is the most heart-breaking thing I can imagine. And she felt that we did this to her. There was no explanation that would have made any of us feel better. The day of and the day after her surgery, she taught me so much. Her bravery and resiliency and vulnerability gave me a new perspective on so many things.
It was eye opening for me, so if you’re still reading, I hope you’ll stick around for the life lessons I’ve learned from my six year old over the past day and a half.
- BE PREPARED. I’ve never been so grateful to have a stocked fridge, a week and a half worth of meals planned, plenty of wine and more popsicles than anyone could ever eat. Seriously, we are ready for the apocalypse, people. I realized that my lack of planning was causing me a ton of day to day stress. I never knew in advance what I was cooking for dinner or if I needed to go to the grocery store. Having all of the food business taken care of for the week is huge, especially with a family. Food is pretty important with two kids who never seem to stop eating.
- JUST CHILL. Blogging is awesome but there is a ton of pressure to always have my nails done and my hair perfect {#goals} and always have on a cute outfit for the Instagram shot. But to NOT worry, to NOT primp is so liberating. Could I do it forever? God, no. But for a week? Abso-freaking-lutely. I am more present, I am reconnecting with my daughter, I am catching up at home and with sleep. Yesterday, I took a nap. It was amazing and I highly recommend it.
- LIFE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. Even when you are six, fear and anxiety and confusion are very real feelings. Its easy to say “never take things for granted“, but in reality we are often forced to learn this lesson the hard way. I have been fortunate enough to realize how lucky I am and for now, I’m basking in that simple fact.
- IT’S OK TO CRY. As we get older, we have a tendency to bottle up our feelings until they explode in one giant uncontainable wave. Kids cry. They cry when they’re scared. They cry when they’re mad. They cry when their sad. They let it out and move on. And its a clue, or it should be, that something is amiss and that they need you. We all feel that way sometimes and its ok to give into it. Even if we don’t always know why we feel blue or frustrated, its ok to let it out and talk about it.
- SMOOTHIES ARE ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. This one isn’t as serious, but its a reminder nonetheless. A perfect breakfast, packed with antioxidants and the nutrients you need to start your day. I know its what I’ll be having for breakfast for the foreseeable future. Kids know what their bodies need and given the proper tools, make the right choices. And they choose smoothies. And ice cream. Ice cream is also always a good idea.
- KIDS ARE THE BEST AT LISTENING TO THEIR BODIES. They sleep or rest when they’re tired or sick and they run and play when they feel good. As adults we have pretty much lost the ability to listen to our bodies because we have ignored them for so long. We keep going when we’re exhausted. We multitask ourselves into a confused non-reality and then we get up and do it again the next day. If we just stopped…and listened…we just might be a whole lot happier and healthier.
I hope you guys enjoyed this! Here are some more pictures of my littles. Mostly iPhone photos, as the perfect shot is not on my radar right now. My daughter took me out of my own head this week and I am forever grateful.
